Have you ever been faced with a dilemma that seems too hard to wrap your head around? I feel like that's me right now. I don't know what to do - stop doing something because my family thinks it's useless but is good for my wellbeing, or continue with it and risk destroying my relationships with family members? B thinks I shouldn't let them influence my decision - they were the ones who thought I should do this in the first place. Tricky.
I've never been told such horrible things about myself and whether the things are true or not, I can't help feeling comletely lost because they still said those things and they had to stem from somewhere. Do they really feel that way about me deep down and haven't told me before, or have I done something to offend them that badly? I don't really know what I would have had to do to someone, for them to tell me they wish I died.
While I'm still considering what to do about that first thing, I've decided on a few other things - it seems we have a lot of happy times together, but when it gets bad, it's really bad. How did that saying go? 'Sticks and stones can break my bones, but it's words that make me cry' ? Nothing physical could ever hurt me as badly as these words have, and it's purely because they came from those closest to me. I have a completely different idea of the person I am, and it's hard to know what is true and what is false.
What to do?
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